I think writing here will calm me down a bit.
And no , I am not procrastinating. I have to study Biology and I love Biology so why would I procrastinate?
Anyway, I just learnt that I'm going to start piano classes in some days. I'm supposed to be excited, right? Well, I'm not.
I'm not the kind of person who can keep up with school, extra French and Spanish classes AND piano lessons. I love playing the piano and I will learn a lot of tracks I like this year, but I don't think I will have the time to do it. As a born procrastinator (not right now) I will need at least FIVE whole hours to actually study for school.
People tell me to see piano like a hobby, or a stress-reliever or something. The point is that I cannot sit down and play for more than fifteen minutes without feel like I am forced to. And fifteen minutes is obviously not enough.
And then there is my piano teacher, who constantly pushes me to have a piano degree and as a result to work harder than I am supposed to. Guess what. I don't want to.
So what? Am I going to stop? I don't want to quit and never play the piano again, but I cannot learn new tracks without a teacher yet, but I obviously don't want to continue like last year.
God, I am already stressed and I haven't even started yet.
I really want to improve at school this year and I will not be able to keep up. I know that. I know myself and I know I m not made for things like that.