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Saturday, March 7, 2015

Really Nerdy Jokes

What is the difference between Hitler and a chemist?
The chemist is using gass properly.

How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they can’t get that high.

How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, she holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. An alto to actually do it and a soprano to stand by and ask “isn’t that a little high for you?”





How do you call a pencil without a lead?
Pointless.

Descartes walks into a bar. 
"What's your order?" the barman asks.
"I haven't thought ye-" Descartes started but disappeared.



How many physicists does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the lightbuld and one to spin the universe.

Two chemist walks into a bar.
The first says "I want 500ml of CH3–CH2–OH."
The second says "I want 400ml of CH3-CH2-OH."
The barman asks the third chemist "Let me guess, you want 300ml of CH3-CH2-OH?"
The third says, "No, it's okay. You'll get it wrong anyways."