Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Do you even remember this thing? Oh well, here is No3 anyway!
|No wonder the word for hallway in french is "le tortoir".|
2. Tips for the bathroom. There must be a bathtub. The tub must be broken so you will hear the drops falling on the sink in the middle of the night( it's bad for the enviornment though; so don't do it) The mirror above it must be one of those who open and there are small shelves behind of him. You know what I'm talking about there is one like that in every horror movie.
3. Tips for the bedroom. The bedrooms must be big rooms with a lot of windows. Even though it would be cool, a balcony is not preferred in my opinion. The walls must be decorated with either family pictures or with the creepy decoration I explained in the No1 of this series of posts. There must be a big BIG clock somewhere in the room. As I said before, a mirror in the opposite of the bed is a must. The older the furniture the better. There must be a double bed.
4. A library. I mentioned books in No2 but now I'm being a bit more specific. A room full of shelves full of books full of dust is a great plus. For some reason I believe the temperature in this room must be lower, even if the rest of the house is already close to the Ice Age. There must be a photo album of the old family somewhere in the library, along with other mysterious papers, like the letters of the previous head of the house to the Queen of England (LONG LIVE THE QUEEN) or a private detective or an experienced murderer or his prostitute girlfriend or to his prostitute girlfriend who is an experienced murderer and a private detective at the same time. The library is the place in which you will find out that the previous owner cursed whoever dared to take her land (Yes I was watching The Conjuring).
5. About the neighbors. You cannot always avoid having neighbors, but here are some characteristics of the best ones: First of all, an old grumpy widower who mumbles stuff about the house that seem important but you wont understand(like Jessina Lange American Horror Story). An old lady who is ver y cheerful and gives you cookies but when you say you just moved next door she frows, gets inside and starts praying. A newly married couple who dont believe in anything the othes say about the house and at first start hanging out with you but then they eithet get mysteriously murdered or something like that.
6. Buildings near the house. A church (the priest will hate you) a school (just imagine children passing from your house every day) and a hotel. Because hotels are creepy anyway.
EXTRA TIP 7. Nothing needs to be fixed. The tubes? The lamps? The table? If something broke it broke for a reason. It was ment to be. Don't ask from anyone to fix it and try to lessen the damage (for example by putting buckets down the flour so the carpets wont get wet because the roof leaks.)
So yeah this is way smaller than the other ones. I'm probably updating them at some point.