How To


There are various occasions that you may recieve a gift:birthday, name day, marriage... But they are not all of them...how to say it....likable.But you also don't want to hurt the other person's feelings because, after all, they had spent money and time on that. So what do you do?

1. Imagine that you see a cute little kitten/puppy/anything cute. That way your expression will look more excited than it already is.

2. Pretend you wanted to buy that thing but you didn't have the time. Just be fast. You don't even have to get the shirt out of it's box. Another example: If it's a book, read the title really fast and say "[Insert Title]! Oh my God, what if I told you I had an eye on it when I saw it on the bookstore?" or , again, if it's a book, you read the back of it and say "Oh, that's the one? I wanted to buy it!", pretending that you didn't recognise the name or author but you have read the plot and liked it.

3. If you have another person near you, show it to them and say something like "Look at it! It's amazing!"

4. The next time you meet the person who gave you the gift, wear it. If he/she doesn't recognise it, imply it. Say something like "I'm wearing such a nice shirt/necklace/etc today! I wonder who gave it to me?!" with a smile on your lips. If it's a book, read a review online or something and pretend you have read half of it.

5.In order to avoid all this, just say "I'll open it later! Thanks!" Attention: This will work only at parties. If you're alone with the person, you'll just sound stupid.

So yeah, these are my advice! I'm such a horrible person....


How to Cope with a Geek

Warning: It does not apply to hipsters

1. Don't pretend you are an expert in a subjet our geek adores if you have no idea about it. He will know.
2. Do things that you both enjoy. He doesn't like your obsession with [anything you like], you don't get his obsession with Mario Cart. There's always something in the middle you can both do and not want to commit suicide because of boredom after five minutes.
3.No, comics aren't only for kids.
4.Yes, manga are different than comics.
5. Just because someone enjoys things you don't doesn't mean he studies for school. Doesn't always study for school.
6. Don't take his glasses. It gets annoying after the 6443th time, #presonalexperience #yesitincludedzoey
7. People that only live online and eat only pizza and drink coffee aren't necessarily geeks Who are we kidding.
7. You can enjoy electronic/trance/whatever music and be a normal human being.
8. Don't be judgemental.
9.Don't borrow anything unless it's a matter of life and death.
10. Don't touch him. You never know how bad his intimacy issues are.

Not helpful at all, as usual.

...By Zoey

If you expect those really good usefull advise you should better leave.To be honest I haven't really figured this one out myself but truthfully this update is for me just as much as it is to you.So don't judge or do that I don't really care I'm just trying to  help those people that are as invisible I am to fit in a little better(I'm not implying this will help at all..)

1 Make sure people realize you are there (scream at them-this will definately work)

2 Stalk the popular kids and start acting like them you might end up acting like a cunt but who cares since fake people will pretend that they like you :)

3 Violate their personal space people love it when you do that because they feel wanted(continue no matter what, even if they repeatedly tell you to leave them alone)

4 Share every little detail of your personal life with the internet. No wait you brobably are doing that already.

5 Lie about yourself. Seriously who wants to hear about your boring life.Be somebody else.Be creative.

6 Act like you don't care about anything this will make you look 'cool' to the others.

7 Get a dinosaur. Dinosaurs are cool as fuck and that way people will like you.

8 Always wear sunglasses no matter the time and the wheather this not only will it make you look like a complete douche but will also hide your eyes but will also make you look more mysterious.

9 Dye your hair a non-natural colour (green , blue, pink) even though you mignt not like it this is what cool people do so it is bound to look cool on you too, right?

Those are my advise.I can't see what can go wrong because they are awesome but to be sure if you don't want every single person at your school to be jealous of your greatness be carefull with those very precious pieces of advice.




1. Study. And mean it. Seriously, no more lies. You must study. Do homework and projects. Ask someone to help you. It's not something bad to ask for help.

2. See school subjects as an entrtainment thing. Like there's nothing else you can watch on TV than a doctumentary. Just try. okay? Find a way to learn things faster.

3. If you want to make some friends, just say hi to a random person. Someone like the guy who sits at that corner all the time. If things get awkward, dont be afraid to say something like "I'm just trying to make a new friend here, are you in?". If s/he says no, just walk away. You tried. Oh, and dont have that 'I-want-to-kill-whoever-approaches-me' attitude.

4. Control your anger. Most problems with classmates start when you are angry about something tottaly irelevant and someone does something as horrible as poke you. Then the fight starts, problems start etc etc...

5. You're not going to win anything if you express your opinion which is against the teacher's.I'm not talking about something that has to do with the lesson. But if you are against stereotypes and the teacher ends up being as stereotypical as hell, dont waste your breath. You're not going to change anything. And dont say anything about πληση εγκεφαλου to other students. Your classmates are old enough to recognise good from bad and if they agree with stereotypes or not, it's the result of the envirnoment they grew up and the teacher had nothing to do with it. And who says that they're going to listen to you anyway.

6. Enjoy little things. Easier sais that done BUT i've been at that pahse myself (i think i still am at some amount). Dont be miserable because of the poverty; that sounded wrong. I mean, dont tihnk about it all day unless you can do something about it. And if you CAN actually do something, be optimistic and think "Hey! I'm taking part at something in order to stop [whatever the subjecr]!" Enjoy five minutes of 'am-i-awake-or-alseep' phase in the mornings; watch your cat playing with her little kittens; watch funny videos on youtube; share anecdotes with friends; roleplay random characters with your friends...There are so many things to be happy about.

7. Find Something That Relaxs You And Do It Everyday. It can be whatever you want; drawing, writing, dancing, singing, yoga, jogging, writing in your blog, playing games online...any-thing

8.Self-harm. Have you ever heard of the Butterfly Project? If not, here's the link : And even if you dont cut, it can help. Also, go back to No6. And remember; self harm wont solve any problem you have in your life. The only result may be some marks on your body you're going to regret for the rest of your life.

These things obviously are not going to work for all of you. But i'm just counting what I and people atound me do. It's not the ultimate guide or anything.


How To Convince Your Teacher That You Have Done Homework
...when you have copied them 5 minutes earlier from a classmate of yours.

There is just one simple step, so it's not that much of a How To but whatever.

The Golden Rule:
If the teacher asks you if you had a problem understanding a question, say a random exercize "you tried and couldn't solve". Or, when he/she solves one infront of the class,  point ot something like "why should this be...?". In general, show your "interest".

Sorry if I couldn't help, that works in our maths teacher at least!

 How To Pass The Exams

If you are a good student you have no problem, but if you haven't studied to whole year, how will you pass?

1. Easter Holidays are the huge opportunity for you. Study 24/7. I mean it. Don't go out(ok,  just for two hours or something, okay?). You think it's harsh? When you had fun the whole year not studying, they were studying. Now it's time to change the roles.
2. Ask for someone to help you. You should choose some adult or something, not a friend of yours because you are going to start talking and in the end, you will not do anything at all.
3.When you study, concentrate. Close your phone, your computer, your TV and everything like that. Ask for your family to keep quiet. They'll be proud of you.
4.Every hour you study, make one ten-minute break to eat and drink something. But don't open your cell or the internet. Nor TV. Just stand there and do nothing until you are ready to continue. And when I mean ready, I mean before half an hour passes.
5. The day before the exam, don't study after 10:00 p.m. or the morning after. You will get confused.

Good Luck!


How To Survive on Valentine's Day if You're Single.

 I know, you've heard it a lot of times, but I'll try to make somtehing different.

No1. You must remember that Valentine's Day is just a made up celebreation, and it's not even fun. So, don't make 14th of February a special day to you, let it just be a normal day at the calendar. Even if you hate it, stop saying "Oh God, I hate this day!" all the time.
No2. Jealous about all the couples today? Realize that if people are in love, they are not gonna wait until Valentine's Day. Whoever is like "OMG it's V-day, I'm gonna srend the whole evening with my wonderful girl/boyfriend, we are gonna eat chocolates and blah blah blah..!" are just stupid whores that beg for attention.
No3. Still cannnot get over it? Take some pop-corn, invite your friends at your house and watch a movie (NOT a romantic one.). If all your friends are busy-if you know what I mean- do something you were planning to do a while now. Rearrange your clothes/books etc? Clean your room in general? Do you homework, if you are that desperate.
No4. Internet. Visit sites, create accounts, chat, upload pictures, search practicaly everything, find the one thing Google cannot find, watch youtube videos.

So that's it! Sorry if I couldn't help!


 How to Convience People You're Crazy
1) Every time you eat turn your food upside down on the table ans eat it without using your hands. If they ask you why you do it, tell them it tastes better that way.
2) Wear your glasses on your head and ask people where are they, even after they tell you.
3)Every time someone sneezes start smiling at him awkwardly.
4)Get out of your room screaming and say that the monster under your bed killed the one in your closet.
5)Have an imaginary friend, like a unicron, and always have cubes of suger with you saying he's on a diet.
6) Everytime somebody tells you "hi" say "Happy Cupcakes Day!" and every day make some weird day up.
7)Go and hug random people in the middle of the street. (Actually, do that anyway, it's sweet).
8)Only write with orange pan and refuse to write with any other color.
9)Say "hi" to everything you see and don't see.
10)Always cary a flower with you.
11)When somebody tells you to do something, do it and ask "This way?" even if it's about closing a door.
12) Only talk wiht rhymes.
13)Trip and fall on things what don't really exist.
14)Talk in many different accents.
15)Say random letters in a random row and claim you pray an Indian prayer of fertility.


How To Stop Bullies

Yeah, you probably have been bullied sometimes in the past, right? So, here are some tips to get over the bullying.

No1-Tell someone. Not your friends. A teacher. Your principal. Your parents. And if you think "Yeah, right, that won't stop him. He'll just be expelled for a day and then some back, angrier.". Organize a group of five of more people who ar ebullied by that person. If you don't know them, or they don't exist, take your friends who have seen him/her bully you. In any case, if there are a lot of "victims", the bully will be punished hard.
No-2 Be confident. Don't answear to their questions. Don't do what they tell you. When they stop talking, say something like "Are you done bacause I really have to go to class." But not in an ironic way .Like you really mean it. Show him that by saying this, you don't care what he/she says. Also remember that the bullies are not confident at all. If you show them you are not afraid, they'll go.
No-3 If you still need help, when you see a bully coming, don't run to the toilet or behind a locker or something. Just stick with a crowd of kids. The bully will notice you if you are the only one who's standing at a corner. If they are coming for you you are busted unless you do No1 & 2.

So, three simple steps. I really hope they are enough. If I come up with another idea, I'll just write it now.


How To Get Over A Break Up

So, he broke up with you...You are crying, wanting him back, thinking your life is over......
Here are some tips that will help you!

1.First of all, you have to believe that he wasn't worthy. Because he didn't deserve you. At all. You are so good for him. Say that three times infront of a mirror for some days.

2. You will now probably think that you are ugly, have low self esteem and stuff. Stand infront of the mirror (again) and repeat ten times: I'm beautiful, he didn't see it because he's stupid. Or something.

3. Go out with your friends. Start a new hobby. Watch movies and read books. Study for school. Go to the gym. A lot. All the time. Do something that will keep you destracted.
[A tip for school: No, your teachers don't know and don't care about your brake up. Don't let that asshole destroy your grades. He's not worthy. Not even.]

4. For God's sake, do not lock yourself to your room and cry all day. And do not eat everything is on the fridge. That way, you won't help yourself, you won't forget him and you will have to do something for your weight too. Sure, you'll cry, you'll scream, hit things, everything like that. But for the first day ONLY.

5. Don't blame others. Remember:it's not their fault he's an idiot. If they tease you, show superiority. Just don't listen to them. If they keep teasing you, talk to them calmly. Say something like "Oh, please, don't make fun of me because you will never find a girl/boyfriend."

6. Talk to your friends. Maybe, when you are dating the one who-will-not-be-mentioned, you may did not care about them, prefering to go on a date with him insead with your friends. Talk to them. They will have something to tell you, some news. Let them help you get over him.

7. If you see him on the street, turn around and repeat to yourself what I wrote in No. 1 and 2. But only for the first 3-4 days. After that, ignore him. He doesn't exist. If he wants to talk to you, imagine he is someone else. It might sound stupid, but it works.

8. Don't check his fb/twitter/myspace etc account every two minutes. He doesn't check yours, does he? If he doesn't do it, why should you? If he's still on your friends list, delete him. Now. You don't want he's posts/tweets etc popping everywhere.

So, I hope this works! I know I was harsh but you're not getting over him with tissues, pizza and TV.


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