Σελίδες

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

asdfghjkl

Please ignore the mistakes or anything I don't think i'll have the courage to edit this.
So im really shy. Like really, REALLY shy and im getting nervous REALLY X3 times easily. I mean I get nervous about telling the waitress my order, I get anxious when I go to the theater because 'oh my God what would happen if an actor forgets his words?' in general, EVERYTHING.
Now tomorrow is the first day of high school and I was super nervous because it will be the first time I will not sit at the same desk with Zoey since 1st grade (In my country, students don't change classrooms and share their desk with another person) and I will be surrounded by strangers. Yesterday I realized I wasn't that nervous, because my excitement was bigger. Anyway, I wasn't sad that tomorrow is my first day on high school.
But just 5 minutes ago my dad told me that he wants me to go to the principal ON THE VERY FIRST DAY and give him some papers because he forgot.
Now in this highschool If you want to go to the principal's office you have to enter the teachers' room. I know that because my mom used to work there as a maths teacher and when I was little she let me come with her and walk the whole building. Anyway, I was always anxious to get inside and have everyone look at me, even when I was like 7 years old. Now? As a teenager I will have EVERY SINGLE teacher stare at me and ask me what the hell do I want-obviously more politely- and I really don't think I can handle it.
I know it sounds dumb and stupid to you but that's what I feel right now. Im stressed, I freak out, not because of the new school ,but because I'll enter the teachers' room on my first day. I know I am so coward and a chicken but I really don't have time to change. In 8 hours I'll have to get my ass of from bed and go to school. And please PLEASE don't tell me "Don't get anxious!" because it's not going  to change if you say it. I'm not going to turn to you and say "Gee, now that you told me not to be nervous, I wont!" that's not going to fucking happen.
I have to find an excuse to avoid it. Who knows? Maybe the principal will get to my class and asks me for the papers. Which it horrible, but still better than the first option. Maybe i'll get my aunt to give tham to the principal or something. I don't know, I really don't know.
Just why couldn't my dad just give them himself? I understand that he has a lot of work to do but it was HIS faul. He forgot them. How would he feel if he had to do this? But of course, my dad is oh-so-confident and he wouldn't get scared of it-honestly, im not scared when I watch horror movies and im scared from this. he would just say 'Come on! You don't have to be nervous! What you do is stupid!" and just wont say anything else.
I'm really going to turn to that pathetic girl who cries in a corner for nothing right now.
Bye.

No comments:

Post a Comment